Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Bring me that man meat
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize