Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
