i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
