So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize