It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
