don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
