sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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