That's when you crack a 10am beer
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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