I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
