Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
