Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
