Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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