I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
