I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
