We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
