So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Randomize
