i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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