He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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