Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
