so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
