he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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