Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
