your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I look better un-naked...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
