I'm lost and stupid without you.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize