butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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