im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
