guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
