no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
