i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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