normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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