i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Operation Purity has been aborted
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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