i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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