She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
