My brain says no but my pants say off.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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