My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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