The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
