ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My vagina just recognized that song.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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