Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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