the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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