Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
