So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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