Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize