i don't plan on having that self control this summer
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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