it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
