i would punch a child for taco bell
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
