I should be sponsored by Trojan
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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