Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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