That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
