I must be too annoying 4 u.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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