Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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