god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
COCAINE IS GR8
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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