if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
