I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
