Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I have feelings that need drinking.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
