next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize