listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
