i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
