I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
