i just wanna soil my oats bro
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
