Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize