Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
