Apparently you make a good broom.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
