He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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