hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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