Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
