i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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