You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It's just like the Real World with babies
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
