It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
