I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
