this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
