i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you never un-have a 4some
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
