If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
