Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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