Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
