oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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