I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
