girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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