Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize