I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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