I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
