It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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