my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
