I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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