Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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