it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize